Semester 2 Blog Post 8 - Burnout, Overwhelm, and Dealing With People

At this point I'm starting to feel a bit redundant every time I start to talk about my thesis in these blog posts. Not much ever changes each time, other than the work that gets done. We're still on track, we're still chugging away, everyone is still pulling their weight wonderfully, etc. There isn't much to say really. Things have been going smooth. I am very happy for our group. So again, there really isn't anything new to say about it anyways. I finished the RIP scene and moved on to the HOOK scene. That's about as interesting as it gets, unfortunately. Or fortunately, maybe?? No news is good news right?? I dunno. Either way, I'm working on animation and keeping track of logistics still. Complained to my group members a bit about how bad other people are at following documents I made. I fixed a couple up for my work and no one uses them it's so annoying.

Lately, I have been a little withdrawn from people, I think. I enjoy talking to and interacting with my group and my cohort and everything, but sometimes, it just gets exhausting. I don't really know how else to explain it. It takes so much energy to focus on people, and to act like a normal person, that I get a lot less work done than I thought I did honestly. It's been a struggle. And considering the time and energy the semester takes, I'm starting to flag a bit. Especially on the "people-ing" side of things. I've started wearing headphones during studio time. Which I know can be a bit odd, all things considered, but I get SO much more work done. And I feel less tired and exhausted afterwards. I have more fun that way too. It's a good reminder that interacting with others can take up a lot of my energy. Either way, at least the solution is simple. Some headphones, and asking others only to talk to me if they need me.

Honestly I nearly broke down in class on Thursday. Very much not in a people mood, I went to pull out my headphones, only to find they'd broken between me leaving the dorms and getting to school. It felt HORRIBLE. All my plans and coping dissolved around me and I had to leave for a bit just to make sure I would still function. I ended up going online eventually and buying new headphones, and they should be here before Monday, thank the stars, but it was still not a fun experience. I had to use even more energy to adjust to and process the issue and the change it brought about into my day. I'm just glad the lab has headphones we can borrow. I would have just gone home otherwise, I think. But I worked through it. I made it through. And now I'm here just trying to keep myself functioning until break. I need break. So bad. I don't think people in charge of college breaks realize how humans work. Just one more week though!! I got this!!