Semester 2 Blog Post 6 - Essay Writing, Balancing Classes, and Drama

Well, this week has certainly been interesting. I don't know why but it feels like a lot of things just came to a head or hit their breaking point this week?? I dunno. It's been a wild ride for sure. I've been stuck writing an essay for my art history class, and I just. . .don't want to do it. At least I'm doing some of it, honestly. It's due next Friday, and I'm almost done writing the entire thing. I just feel like it needs so much polish work before I turn it in that it needs to be done TODAY. And it isn't. And it's freaking me out even though I have a whole week until it is due. Why must my brain do this to itself?? I would prefer to simply stay motivated without all the overthinking and stress. At least I have given myself enough time to stop working on the essay for the day when I feel like slamming my head against the wall. If I have to research ancient Mesoamerican codices again it will be too soon.

Anyways, as stated above, other classes have been taking precendent lately. Once I get this essay done it should free up a LOT of my time that I am going to put towards animation and thesis work. Hopefully. And my creative writing class is going well as well, even if I don't like it all that much. You know, considering how much I love writing and creating my own stories, creative writing class is so drab. It's probably the poetry. Who writes poetry for fun?? Weirdos (not really but like . . .not my thing.). So basically, I've been doing a lot of writing. You can imagine how it feels writing this blog post right now. At least I can use words like "I" and "me" and actually talk about interesting things. Not frogs jumping into nothingness or how the Spanish conquest of Mexico affected the native art. Bleh. . .

In other news, there seemed to have been drama in the lab yesterday. I was only privy to it because Evan came into 805A to rant about it with Lucy and Eliana. I wasn't purposefully listening, I promise. But he talks kind of loud and I'm sure everyone in the room heard it. To be fair it felt REALLY awkward. I'm not entirely sure what to do with the information, you know?? Gossip is fun to listen to I guess, but I'd rather hear it about people I don't know. . .Not people in my cohort. Even is my friend and I feel bad for the struggles he's going through, but the others are my friends too, and it worries me to hear that they're in such a rough patch. Really, I felt like it shouldn't have been something made so public to other groups. I get telling friends, but there was a whole room of people as well as the friends he was telling. It felt awkward. I'm doing my best to not let it affect the way I'm thinking or feeling about anyone, and luckily, since I'm pretty far removed, I've been doing a pretty good job. But bias is hard to get around, and people rally around their friends. I'm nervous for how this issue is going to resolve. It makes me even happier to be in the group I am in. We have some miscommunication issues occaisionally, but we never butt heads. Or if we do, we discuss it and figure it out. I don't like the thought that there's a possibility we will also have intrapersonal issues like that at some point during this project.

But, we're doing good. A bit anxious due to the next production pass, which, damn, how is it next week!?!?! And I personally feel like a mini fire has been lit under my butt to get animation done, all while trying to write what feels like a million pages for other classes. Creature Animation is wonderful, and it's a class I love, but I feel as if I have no TIME for it. Which sucks. I just wanna animate my stupid bird. Its wings don't flap right and it's annoying me. But, other things keep taking precedent and the next thing I know, poof, the time I had for it is gone. It sucks. And getting sick certainly didn't help. But at least I took some time off to take care of myself and rest!! Because I did that, I'm now all better this week and able to focus on catching up and getting back into the groove of everything!!

Honestly though, what is it with this week and drama?? Not only was there some drama at the DAC, but there was drama at my part time job on campus too!! A couple people got fired for not doing their job, NINE packages have gone missing this week. No one is using the Missing Package sheet I made. . . That last one ticks me off. I guess I'm spoiled because everyone in my thesis group uses all my sheets constantly and correctly, and things stay nice and organized because of it. I don't even know what HAPPENED to this one package because it WASN'T RECORDED!! Like really?? How hard is it to fill out something with DROP DOWN MENUS!! Ugh. Oh and also one of the other people with my job got arrested. I don't know much beyond that. But damn. . .what happened!?!? This job is annoying. The tasks and job itself are easy, but the coworkers and the supervisor?? Ugh. . .I hate it. It's such a hostile environment. . .and no one explains or clarifies anything!!! "Don't go into the back and bother the prostaff", they say. I refuse to go back into the back to get things because they said not to. "Oh we meant just don't bother the prostaff with meaningless conversation and questions, you still need to go into the back to get things if told to or you need to', they reprimand. WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!?!?! You say something literal. I assume the literal thing. I'm autistic not stupid. It's called clarification. But of course my supervisor and leads and coworkers don't understand this. Of course they don't. Why can't people just say what they mean?? Is it that hard??

Well. At least I make money. That's nice. I can buy food and art supplies. So I'll stay. The job itself isn't that hard at all, after all. I shall spite all the rude people. Rant about my job aside, I'm vibing through the middle of this semester. I want buffalo wings for some reason. So I think I'm gonna stop typing here and go defrost some chicken so I can make chicken nuggies to eat. This was surprisingly cathartic.